Be Still Experiment: Room for 1

Room #1 at the Adobe Inn, the "expensive room" by the maitre d's standards, the longest running Inn and Restaurant in Ridgeway, Colorado.  A gem with a window into my heart.  I've stayed here with a dear friend and on that night our relationship was rocked to it's core, never recovering, never quite the same.  I've stayed here with a lover, an adventurous voyager, his vibrance, his darkness eventually taking him to his grave.  I said goodbye here to a boyfriend who when we reunited he became my fiance, my husband, and my ex. 

A #1 on the door, on the familiar rusted key ring in my hand, myself as one, I cross the threshold into this room with so much memory, an appreciation for those who ventured here with me once before. I vow to be present, to breathe, to be still, here for the first time on my own, in this auspiciously numbered room, as 1. 

11 is my number, it appears so often that I've come to welcome it, a reminder to be present, to appreciate the little moments that have come to feel just a little like magic.  So it does not escape my attention that I have returned to this place, this room that has so much history with others, rather than 1 and 1, simply as 1.

There is so much beauty in this life and sadly so often we miss it, lost in the future, the past, longing for something or for someone who isn't here and now.  It brings tears to my eyes when I think how many beautiful moments have been lost, too adrift in the past, the future, lost upon the mind, the movement of the pendulum swing. 

And so as 1 I sit, I breathe, I am still.  The mountains have turned pink, geese, in V formation fly in the sky above, their sound audible before they come into view.  I sit.  I breathe.  The clouds, now orange, move so slowly that it is virtually undetectable.  The smell of dried sage and soil are in the air.  The shoulds, the sposdas, the coulds, appear in my periphery and fade with the sun and pass with the clouds.  I feel still, rooted, connected, grateful. 

I am grateful for this moment, this place, that has seen so much of my change.  An offering of familiarity, a reminder, a return to me.  In stillness, surrounded by the colors of the setting sun, with so much love for everything and everyone who has brought me here to this moment, back to this place, more rooted, more 1, than it feels I have ever been.