Helping Hands

Yesterday morning I drove myself to the ER. After I awoke from an extremely fitful night of sleep, I found I could not swallow, it was hard to breathe. "Is it the infection in my throat?" I asked myself, "Or is it an anaphylactic response to the antibiotic?", something I'm prone to having. In that moment I could feel the adrenaline rising, I had a choice, freak the hell out or use my yoga. Honestly, I think I did a bit of both.

Once home, exhausted from the ordeal, reflecting upon the experience, I was feeling a variety of emotions ranging from gratitude to frustration. From a 3 hour wait at Immediate Care the day prior onlyto spend 15 minutes with the doctor who prescribed me a med that would ultimately send me to the ER where yesterday a fast acting team took immediate action and allowed me to navigate what I did and did not want to happen. A yin yang experience highlighting the importance of thoughtful human connection in a system where often patients and employees alike seem broken and frustrated by navigating a highly complex and confusing network of red tape, codes, and groups. Our hospitals, our doctors offices, our immediate care clinics, these are the places where I feel we need it most, a soft approach, a smile, an openness, a welcoming spirit, especially when we are sick, ill, vulnerable, or even afraid. 

Rather than allow my mind to spiral into frustration, toward something I could not control, I brought my awareness back to my breath, to my mantra, "freak the hell out or use my yoga". And in this way I learned, making challenge an opportunity, making fear my teacher, my friend. Things like this suck yes but in the end I'm grateful for the reminder of what this practice has and continues to provide. Yesterday morning, while looking into the mirror to fully grasp the nature of the swelling in my throat, I paused, closed my mouth and captured a glimpse of something that was just as important for me to see, a belief, an assurance, an understanding of me. Truth, I believe is wisdom in action. In knowing myself, I would navigate this path, no matter how frustrating or scary it had the potential to be, I would find grounding, safety, and comfort along this path, deeply rooted within me. 

Be Still Experiment: Room for 1

Room #1 at the Adobe Inn, the "expensive room" by the maitre d's standards, the longest running Inn and Restaurant in Ridgeway, Colorado.  A gem with a window into my heart.  I've stayed here with a dear friend and on that night our relationship was rocked to it's core, never recovering, never quite the same.  I've stayed here with a lover, an adventurous voyager, his vibrance, his darkness eventually taking him to his grave.  I said goodbye here to a boyfriend who when we reunited he became my fiance, my husband, and my ex. 

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Be Still Experiment: Dis-ease

Dis-ease is a physical sensation that originates from the gut, an unpleasant vibration, a tension, almost twisting, butterfly wings fluttering, the emotion that resonates is shame.  A dull, low-level nausea coincides with the sensation and increases or decreases with intensity in relation to the thoughts that I have come to call the shoulds, the spoasdas, and the coulds; the voices from past experiences, from others, from within, that distort the softer more subtle ones of truth, intuition, the gut, the self.

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The light needs the dark to shine

I find no coincidence in the fact that on this heavy, seemingly dark day, one of Chicago’s Public Schools opened its doors to me, making room, offering space for the establishment of a skill set, the skill set I believe we need.  On a day when my soul needs a hug, I was moved to tears as a team of parents, a loving principal, said yes to investing in social and emotional wellness programming for our children.

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Healing turmeric smoothie

After what feels like two straight weeks of late nights watching post season baseball, go Cubs go, I woke up this morning and decided to get creative with turmeric, a lovely orange root with anti-inflammatory effects.  What manifested was not only beautiful to look at but was delicious and energizing too.  I hope you enjoy it.

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Welcome: Create Space

We all need a space for our voice, for an expression of our creativity.  A place to be ourselves, to tap into our truth.  However to make space, we have to make room, clear out, clean out, and separate ourselves from our junk, something we don't often like to do.

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